Hues of soul

Debut novel of Alex Michaelides. A good psychological thriller, a page turner. Alicia Berenson, a young accomplished artist shoots her caring husband, shoots five times in the face killing him and goes silent and ends up in a psychiatric facility, The Grove. Theo Faber is a psychotherapist who is determined to break the wall Alicia built around her. His experience of having gone through long therapy sessions to overcome his own demons, makes him believe that he is the only person who can break through Alicia. Ofcourse he has other reasons too.. Pain of betrayal, pain of not being listened to, neglected and abused childhoods are all there. Too much dependence on the good old, psychoanalytic theory and Freudian concepts makes it a little dark. But, then that is the very essence of the book.  Altogether a very well written, intriguing thriller. You can't keep the book down until the last page is turned. The suspense holds right till the end. Enjoyed reading it. Preetha Raj...

It's gripping. Watched it in 2 days..Based on a true story..The relentless search by two women detectives to find out a serial rapist, who mastered the art of wiping away all the evidences.. What struck me most is how different are the approaches of male and female officers  towards sexual violence.. Women obviously know better about the devastating damage such an act of violence inflicts upon the victim.. Loved the way the two women put pieces together to catch the rapist, with all feminine sensibilities intact.. Especially loved Merritt Wever as detective Karen Duvall and Kaitlyn Dever as Marie Adler, the young victim.. Preetha Raj

Without trust, life is miserable.. What is life if you don't trust anyone to have your back?  If you don't trust anyone to recharge you, when you are emotionally drained?  If you don't have anyone to trust beyond logic? To trust and be trusted are two sides of a coin... Both are essential features for a peaceful life.  Not on ethical or moral contexts.. But on emotional or practical grounds.. Trust is the backbone of relationships.. Trust someone until he/ she proves otherwise.. But always stay trustworthy... Preetha Raj

Light as many diyas as possible,  For the night is dark and no stars to be seen.. We need more and more light, As the world is getting darker and darker.. So, light , light, light them all.. Light up every nook and corner.. Let's celebrate victory of light over darkness!!! Preetha Raj

Sometimes one yearns for solitude.. To be mindful... To retrospect.. To absorb a beautiful melody... To sing from the soul.. To daydream.. To get into little time machines called books and to wander and get lost in faraway lands in various time periods... To rediscover oneself from the clutter and chaos of everyday life... Preetha Raj

Dewy mornings and starry nights.. Can those heal the wounds of sorrow and despair? Can those mend the broken heart? Can those clear fogs of confusion in the mind? Can those bring out solutions for all the issues? I feel those can.. When I see first rays of the sun through a dew drop.. When I hear chirping birds along the fragrance filled morning walk path.. When I see flower beds of various colours under flowering trees... When brave little birds fly off only at the very last moment as I approach.. When I see an idle cat basking in the sun in the cool morning, daydreaming.. When I see colours and shapes of festivities in the shop windows.. When I watch the twinkling stars.. Then.... Somehow I know they can.. Preetha Raj

I try hard to keep my mind away from the gruesome incident of Telengana. But, it just sits there at the back of my mind. It makes me shudder many times a day. Is it just for me, or for all women or for all of our species?     At the time of Nirbhaya, I was curious to find out what went wrong.. It was kind of unbelievable at that time. But not any more.. Anything is possible now. It happened near a toll plaza, not in a remote area..It was planned and executed.    Is it exposure to porn? Is it alcohol or narcotics? Or is it some outbreak that contaminate the minds of men? What is it that makes some men the deadliest creatures on earth?    The culprits need to be executed at the earliest, before the chill inside goes away..Just do away with them, before another such case pop up..Yes, another case is extremely probable under these circumstances. We can only hope and pray for a miracle.. A miracle to extinguish the deadly epidemic.   Dear girl!! Rest in pea...

Let them bask in the glory of  their win..  Let them rejoice  how fantastic their schemes were.. Let them boast about their brilliance.. After all it was never your game to play.. You just break free and walk away.. Disguise the creases of sorrow in an unfolding drama on screen.. Smother sighs in melodious sound waves of music.. Cover up tears by laughing hard on jokes.. Run away into the pages of a book and get lost and get buried.. Preetha Raj

Having a child who needs constant care and attention is very stressful for all the members of the family.. It needs a lot of determination and sacrifices to go on. But above all someone should be there to take decisions, to execute plans, and to take the real hot seat of the primary caregiver. That's what is portrayed in " The sky is Pink"..The plight of the parents of a critically Ill child to give her a chance and then a meaningful life.. It is based on a true story.    What stands out in the movie is sterling performance by Priyanka Chopra as Aditi, the mother.. Her steely determination and strength combined with support from the husband, Niren,  give Aysha 18 years of meaningful life..'Moose', as Aysha calls her mother, does extensive research on the condition of her child so much so that she even argues with doctors and takes immediate actions in every crisis. Aditi's philosophy is clear as she tells her son over a long distance call to never let someone ...

Love in the time of cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez Story of an eternal, obsessive love.. Florentino Arza's love for Fermina Daza was so overwhelming that it was the lifeline and driving force of his very existence. At the age of 20 when he fell in love, he was a  timid, pathetically love stricken bastard son of a single mother. When Fermina Daza rejected him returning all his love letters he was shattered completely. As his mother found out, lovesickness had the same symptoms of cholera, the epidemic of the time.. There came many women in his life for the fulfilment of physical and emotional needs, but none could get him out of his obsession or rather he never wanted to come out of it. He lived his life carefully, staying fit, climbing the social and career ladder to be worthy of her, because he wishfully believed one day she would be his. And that dream came true after half a century when both are septuagenarians.    Fermina Daza fell for the intense love of Florentino ...

  I always thought of religion as a set of rules to follow for one's mental and spiritual well-being..It doesn't matter which set one chooses to follow from the myriad options, as the ultimate goal is the same for all of them..     I totally fail to understand how religion has become an overwhelming presence in every aspects of life..Especially when one's religion is just a random probability, that is beyond one's control..As far as I see we are in a certain religion because our parents were born in that religion.. Any attempt to choose one's religion is not accepted lightly..So, once you are born in a religion, you are imprisoned in it.. There are people who set rules for the general good for that category, assuming that what they think appropriate is applicable to everyone else.     I sometimes wonder what they think the divine selection is like? Do the Supreme God creates human beings and roll a dice to see to which group the new life should be induced into? ...

I used to have a little treasure box as a little girl.. My little box contained bangles, broken pieces of favourite bangles, strings of beads, loose beads, miniature plastic animals,  kunni and manjadi seeds collected from fences..and all those things I fancied at that time..  Meeting schoolmates are like a time machine ride to your childhood days and opening that most cherished little box of childhood wonders.. Now I realise that these people are the most precious contents of my most cherished box of memories.. Preetha Raj

Why I am a Hindu by Sashi Tharoor. I started reading this book to look for reasons not to feel guilty being a Hindu, practising  rituals and festivals that have become habit. Because these days, people can't be just an ordinary Hindu without bring judged politically. We are now such a highly polarised people. The book helped me in that respect. Starting from the philosophical basis of Hinduism and it's practices and slowly moving to the political hinduthva ideology. Philosophy of hinduism being very difficult to absorb, it may be interpreted in many ways. Also it could be the maladjustment of a predominantly introspective philosophy being converted into a social, political and nationalistic ideology.  Anyways, if a group of people defined their hinduism and propagating it, well, that is not my hinduism. I align myself to the philosophical and spiritual hinduism of which tolerance and pluralism are the most prominent aspects. Thank you, Dr. Tharoor for providing the shield. It ...

It is not easy to keep promises..  Altered circumstances or some added information can render a promise invalid or even stupid..  It's better to refrain from giving and receiving promises.. Regard promises as they are.. Words spoken with a lot of feelings...  with a lot of good intentions.. Preetha Raj

Let's laud and cheer the omnipresent love!! It is the binding force of the Universe..  It is present in many forms and colours all over.. In the courting pigeons.. In the wagging tail of a stray dog and the face of the one who feeds him.. In the toothless smile of an old woman and the one holding the wrinkled hand.. In the laughter of a child and the joyful pride of the parents.. Love spills all over when lovers' eyes meet.. It's there in heartbreaks too.. It is there in wishes, messages and phonecalls.. It is there in art, books, music and movies.. Let love prevail and shine... And banish mosses of hatred.. Preetha Raj

Which one was created first, man or religion? Is it humans for religion or religion for humans? Which one is real, a man in flesh and blood or a set of myths and beliefs? It's obvious that finally it all has been reduced to religion for politics and politics for religion.. Both are so merged that it is difficult to distinguish between the two.. Religious salutations are now political slogans... Or slaughtering roars of barbarians? The deadly combo of the imaginary realities; Politics and religion.. The products of human imagination.. The Frankenstein of Homo sapiens... Preetha Raj

That is the thing about crime thrillers.. You might not remember a thing after some time..But, they keep you tethered.. You have this urge to turn the pages to know "who did it"? That exactly what "A Minute to Midnight" by David Baldacci is. Weed, meth, porn, multiple murders, psychopaths and a 6 feet tall muscular and gorgeous female FBI agent.  Preetha Raj

The Help, Kathryn Stockett    The book is about the black helps and their white bosses in Jackson, Mississippi during early 1960s. Story unfolds in three women's viewpoints, 22 year old Skeeter who aspires to become a writer, Aibiline and Minni two coloured helps. It is Skeeter's idea to write a book about the helps and their perspective of their work is what brings these three women together and changes their lives..   Of all the characters, Aibiline stands out, being wise, kind and dignified. Just out of the trauma of the tragic death of her own son she is attached to the little girl she is looking after. She is raising her seventeenth white child, Mae Mobley, a chubby 2 year old, who is deprived of her own mother's love and care. The bond between Aibiline and Mae Mobley is the most touching part of the novel. Aibiline tries to make the 'baby girl' a confident young lady and also tries her bit to pull out the seeds of racial discrimination from the mind of the lit...

What an unstable thing life is!!! It swings relentlessly between the extremes... In-between successes and failures.. In- between rights and wrongs.. In-between truths and lies.. In-between love and hatred.. In-between presence and absence.. In-between perfection and blunders.. In-between heaven and hell... We still hang on and move forward along the bumpy road negotiating the thick haze of ambiguities.. Warriors indeed.. Preetha Raj

What an irony!! A cluster of microbes terrorise the mighty Sapiens growing upto pandemic proportions..   Sapiens the most narcissistic species on earth, so proud of their wrinkled brains, who believe in leaving their marks on and beyond earth..Who go on to disrupt food chains, ecosystems, with a ruthless illusion of ownership of the planet..  These tiny microbes don't recognise man-made installations or systems but manage to disrupt everything.. They spread across borders, races, religions, mansions and shanties.. They don't distinguish between the lawmakers or protesters. They recognise only humans, the most vicious creatures on earth..  Well, nature has her own ways to bring about some order. She might have asked Atlas( the mythological giant who carries her on his shoulders) to just shrug.. Preetha Raj

Waging war against the virus is way easier than waging bloody wars among ourselves.. Take a break from the mad rush.. Do some soul-searching.. Enjoy colours of daybreaks and twilights. Enjoy afternoon siestas... Indulge in daydreaming, books, music and movies.. Tend to the little plants in the yards or balconies.. Chances are there the grey cells come up with something creative.. In fact self isolation can even be real fun.. We can have real reality shows ( read Big Boss) at home.. Anyways, let mother Earth relax a bit as the naughtiest of her offsprings tucked away peacefully in their burrows.. Preetha Raj

Don't panic.. Don't lose hope.. Yes, it's tiring times.. But, not an apocalypse yet.. Let's see what we can do.. Keep the distance, but stay united.. Stay clean and keep them away.. May be all it takes is just some adjustments.. Some mending of the ways here and there.. Some compassion... Not just for our own species.. But for all the coinhabitants.. For the planet.. Some new art of living... The art of coexistence.. Let's stay united for all of us.. Preetha Raj

Ohhh!! How I miss them all!! Morning walk scents and colours... Chirpy birds and a lazy cat.. The window shopping in a mall .. Driving through bustling roads for errands.. Serenity of evening temple visits... Children splashing into the swimming pool... A movie night and dining out... Hanging out with friends.. Stuck at home I miss them all... But,...Thank God!!  I can still enjoy a tiny bloom and new sprouts in my garden.. A breeze that makes them dance..  Watch birds take bath and quench thirst in the fountain.. Watch those regular stray dogs on the empty road.. The stoic trees standing aloof.. And I have Mark, Larry(Page) and Sergey(Brin) to fill up the void and fill me in... Preetha Raj

Waiting in a queue... One metre apart from each other... Outside a supermarket... I felt all the differences a few days of lockdown made... The patient discipline of shoppers.. None is in a hurry.. The air is cool in the March morning.. A pleasant breeze through the hair.. No haphazard parking on the road.. No honking decibels.. The golden blooms of konnappoo reminded of the upcoming Vishu.. When the tree showered blossoms on me... I suddenly felt, we are being forgiven... Forgiven for all the damage we caused.. The crisis is soon to be over.. The big human engine will slowly start to move soon.. Preetha Raj

Oh God, please forgive us... Are we so bad that we are being punished like this? That you prevented us from entering your divine abodes on earth... That whatever we were proud about are now in total shambles... Do we deserve this relentless misery?... We already feel like discards.. Hateful infectious beings in this beautiful planet... Yes, our mistakes were huge,  We did hurt mother Earth and fellow beings... In big way... The damages are enormous... Oh God, please give us a chance to repent and repair.. Yes, there are nasty people among us.. But, so are there a lot of beautiful souls... Most of our hearts are filled with love... Love for nature, fellow human and other beings... You know that, Oh God!!! As we believe, that is where you reside... In hearts filled with love.. It breaks our hearts to see dead bodies piling up in heaps... We don't even get to say farewell to the departed souls in a proper way... In the ways we believe their souls will reach and rest with you in peace....

Covid19 changed our world, our lives, our perceptions, ..It made us go back to something we learned long ago, as children.. The basic necessities of life..Needs for sustenance.. Air, water, food and shelter..All others are luxuries..   Did it open our eyes? All our proud systems are in shambles now.. We saw people whom we thought secured their retirement going away not claiming even that six feet of earth..   We were in a rat race, as individuals, as communities, as countries.. We lived every single minutes of our lives thinking about achieving targets, cutting new business deals, enhancing financial capabilities.. We even adorned our children with armours.. Always told them life is a race..We put them in the battlefield of life stealing all their childhood charms..   And now as we stand in the shambles, we are numbed, perplexed, confused, .. There may be job losses, financial difficulties..It's upto each of us to decide whether to stand there and weep on the remnants of ...

We need to celebrate Gandhi Jayanthi to make ourselves believe that such a man lived here in flesh and blood..  A dark little man clad in a dhothi loaded with virtuous attributes..  Let us sing, narrate and chronicle his life again and again to see that such a life is possible, even if we can't actually live it.. And yes, let us find out his judgemental errors too..  That'll make it easier for the generations to come to believe his existence as a human.. Let Mahatma live on in our minds!! Preetha Raj

Be like the sea.. Lively at the surface and calm at the bottom.. Stay layered and unpredictable.. Keep secret treasures at the very bottom.. And be wavy at the top.. Enchanting, frothy, soothing.. Or... Furious, turbulent, raging.. Whatever it takes... Preetha Raj

Death is not always an unwanted visitor.. There are times when all you can wish for someone is.. May death visits you soon.. Surrender with dignity to the ultimate truth in life..  Have a peaceful transition to the other world... Preetha Raj

Pain..  The throbbing, debilitating feeling inside..  Like the whole being is being squeezed by mighty iron fists.. But remember you are a warrior.. You are the conqueror.. Take out every weapon in your armoury and fight... When the fist gradually loosens and gone, you are left with a pulsating scar.. Wear it like a badge of honour... As a mark of your bravery.. Preetha Raj

Incredible book!!!  But not an easy read at all. The plot is an island in Itali ( Pianosa), during World War II. I could get hitched to the book only in my second attempt. When I attempted to read it years back, I couldn't progress beyond some twenty odd pages. It seemed so haphazard and complicated then. This time I was determined and as I progressed found it incredibly humorous and satirical. At the beginning I thought Yossarian, the protagonist, was completely mad, even psychotic. People around him too thought so. But as he tried to get out of combat citing mental instability, there was the 'catch 22'.  Catch 22 was a very straight forward clause as follows: Catch 22 specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real immediate was the process of a rational mind. A crazy person could be grounded.( taken out of combat duty). All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions....

The Book thief,  Markus Zusak The story of Liesel Meminger, an orphan living with adoptive parents in Nazi Germany during World War ll, as narrated by Death..."when Death tells a story, you listen.." Liesel has an irresistible affinity towards books and words. Though Mr. Death is extremely busy with his work that is collecting souls, during the war, he somehow irresistibly follows her. Liesel's love for words and books turns her into a book thief.. Death first meets her when he comes over to collect her little brother's soul.. There he sees her first theft, " The Gravedigger's handbook". And that's the book her papa ( adoptive father) uses to teach her words, later. Death follows her through her childhood, other thefts, adolescence, friendship and a tender bud of love that is charred by a bombing attack.. It is a wonderful book.. Set in a very dark time yet hopeful.. The narration is unique as the narrator himself and makes the book incredibly touchi...

They are soldiers fighting the invisible enemy..  Health care workers around the world.  When you are hit by the enemy.. And rendered helpless... There they stand by you...  With hearts full of kindness.. Donning the armour... Fighting relentlessly.. No, they are not Gods or angels.. They are so human... Pining for their loved ones.. Missing the kisses and hugs .. But they never leave your side... Respect is what they rightfully deserve.. And if you can't give them that.. You are shame on humanity.. Preetha Raj

Settling down!! Is it for good or bad? Does settling down brings peace? I'm a bit confused these days.. Yes, I used to complain about our rolling stone existence. Transfers after every 3, 2 or sometimes just 1 year kept us moving around. But I think we are kind of accustomed to that way of life.  As we are inching towards retirement life ( my husband's, that is), I completely understand 'Vianne Rocher' in the beautiful movie 'Chocolat.' Vianne a French chocolatier couldn't resist the temptation to move whenever the west wind blowed.  I always had the feeling that humans are basically meant to be nomads.. Well, we have to settle down finally..  But hope we could move around as and when the wind is in our favour.. Preetha Raj

Vertigo One fine morning... When I woke up .. I suddenly felt... I was the centre of the Universe... Everything around, revolved around me... It lasted only a few seconds... And the reality of  The day's kitchen work dawned on me... I walked to the kitchen... Did some chores... Felt a little dizzy.. And came back to bed... As soon as my head hit the pillow.. It started again... As if the pillow was enchanted.. Like the old throne of king Vikramaditya... The pillow momentarily made me  The core of the Universe ... Again and again... Regardless of my resistance.. I was taken to the hospital.. After examination... The doctor proclaimed... Some balancing problem of my inner ear... Well, it was not much of a shock.. I was never that balanced anyway... My friend, who had gone through it, A few years back, advised... "Learn to live with it... Enjoy the fun rides..." Well, she's as sensible as always... And for me, it's the next best thing... To my most cheris...