Hues of soul

Marital discords, violence and murders Marriage is a contract between two committed adults. And that is the base on which a family is formed and hence  institutionalised.  When does it become a problematic affair or the partners for life turn abusers or murderers?  The most common factors are; I. Financial issues  The most damaging factor in Indian marriages is the dowry system. How shameful it is for the girl that her parents give a guy money to take care of her for a lifetime?  As if she is a burden to be borne. Instead of dowry parents should give her education and help her to be financially independent.   Never marry for sustenance. Instead be financially independent. The concept of marriage is not at all about caregiving. Nor is it a sort of rehabilitation. It is and should be a partnership.   2. Jealousy Extramarital relationships and jealousy were there from time immemorial. Remember the Shakespearean tragedy 'Othello'....

Will COVId change mindsets? Human beings are basically selfish in nature, like any other living organism. Our driving force to achieve and succeed, aim at things that are beneficial for us.   What makes humans different from other organisms is the immense capacity of our brain. We make social systems so that all those  involved benefit from the system.In order to overcome the innate selfishness we made rules and general etiquettes to behave in a society. But, did we achieve anything out of that ? Are all in the system protected by our laws and social order? If so, how thousands of migrant workers hit the road, homebound, deprived of basic necessities, when an unusual crisis struck?  How could we let such a thing happen? Now let us look into our average mindset. We stay at home, work from home, wash our hands often, wear masks, carry sanitizer bottles with us, search the net or watch TV or social media for tips to enhance our security. The plight of migrant wor...

   Maintaining warmth in relationships during long lockdown is tricky. Everyone would be stressed and worried about the disease and health. On top of that, as the lockdown progresses frustration levels may rise. Locked down in the constraints of home is somewhat strenuous. Relationships can suffer something similar to the old saying , " familiarity breeds contempt." The key to maintaining the warmth in relationships is managing your emotions and respect others' emotions and personal spaces.  Let's ponder certain points. 1. Work on yourself. Keep a routine,  Exercise regularly,  Practice relaxation exercises,  Eat healthy  Keep a positive frame of mind. 2 . Know the situation All are having it bad during this period. So, you'll have to keep the margins for errors a little wider. Children may be frustrated, because of being tied up at home. Adults may be anxious about job, future and financial affairs. Just keep in mind that this is an unusua...

Parenting, infancy and childhood. Parenting is not an easy task. There are no general rules for parenting. Each parent is different, so is each child. But there are certain tips with some psychological, theoretical background, which  can be used as a blueprint for young parents. No theory can replace the creativity and common sense of parents.  I am going to put forward some points to be pondered, based upon one of the many theories of psychosocial development. That is Eric Erikson's theory of psychosocial development.  According to Eric Erikson, personality develops in eight stages spread across the lifespan of an individual. In each stage an individual has to successfully negotiate certain psychosocial conflicts. The first four stages deal with childhood. Let us only look into the practical aspects leaving the theoretical elaboration. Let us take the stages and see what a parent should do to help the child to be successful to negotiate conflicts in each stag...

Who is an empowered woman? Sometimes it seems confusing for many as it is an abstract entity. Is she the one who demands equality and if so, what kind of equality? Or is she someone who is in constant struggle to change the system as a whole? Is she a career woman, a homemaker or someone who tries to be superhuman? I would rather stick to a simple definition. An empowered woman is someone who knows and exercises her rights as a citizen and an individual, and knows where to set limits and personal boundaries. Ofcourse it is the same for any empowered individual, not just for women.  Never fall in the traps of glorious adjectives Yes, you are a mother, a wife, a daughter and all those possible relationships. But, you are not a goddess nor an angel. Never fall for such attributed divinity. You are just a human being and  fallible. Stay beyond the patriarchal society definitions of womanhood. You needn't carry the burden of family honour on your shoulders. If your...