Maintaining warmth in relationships during long lockdown is tricky. Everyone would be stressed and worried about the disease and health. On top of that, as the lockdown progresses frustration levels may rise. Locked down in the constraints of home is somewhat strenuous. Relationships can suffer something similar to the old saying , " familiarity breeds contempt." The key to maintaining the warmth in relationships is managing your emotions and respect others' emotions and personal spaces.
Let's ponder certain points.
1. Work on yourself.
Keep a routine,
Exercise regularly,
Practice relaxation exercises,
Eat healthy
Keep a positive frame of mind.
2. Know the situation
All are having it bad during this period. So, you'll have to keep the margins for errors a little wider. Children may be frustrated, because of being tied up at home. Adults may be anxious about job, future and financial affairs. Just keep in mind that this is an unusual situation and same scales don't apply here.
3. Have and respect personal spaces.
Yes, human beings are social animals, but, at the same time, one needs a little space of one's own. You can engage in your hobbies and interests. And encourage others to take up theirs. But remember encouragement shouldn't be compulsion.
4. Be empathetic
Empathy is thinking in the other person's perspective or knowing his emotions. This is the most important thing in any relationship in any situation. If you know why someone is behaving in a particular way, you can solve the problem a little more easily.
5. Set limits and respect personal boundaries
Tolerance limits may be kept a little higher but there should be a limit nonetheless. Beyond that seek help and guidance.
6. Having some time together
Watch a movie together. Have meals together. If used wisely this can be a great time to find out the skills of children and encourage them to enhance them. Singing, dancing, painting, cooking and gardening can be done together.
7. Introduce books
It's a great time to introduce books to children. You can read to them or ask children to read to you while you are working in kitchen or in garden. You can make reading a fun activity.
8. Give more space to teenagers
With all the adolescent turbulence, teenagers may be finding the crisis a bit more difficult. Teenage is the time when a person seeks independence from parents and spend more time with peers. Give them some privacy, at the same time keep an eye on their activities. Keep the communication channel open with the teenagers. Be informed about the dangers they are prone to, and talk to them about it. Encourage them to enhance their skills and competencies. Involve them and ask them for suggestions regarding family matters.
9. Manage your emotions
Often, anger outbursts are the relationship breakers. At the height of emotions you tend to lose control and utter harmful and demeaning words, which strike the the other person painfully hard. It is important to manage anger and stress.
The following steps can be followed to that effect.
I. Whenever in distress don't talk.
ii. Count upto 20
iii. Take deep breaths.
iv. Now think about the problem and form your arguments.
v. Talk to the person concerned in a more balanced way.
vi. This way you can effectively communicate your feelings and find a middle ground.
10. Tame down the perfectionist in you
Remember that it is okay to do things a little differently a little later than usual. Chain the control freak inside you.
11. View things in a lighter way.
Keep your humour sense intact. Laugh often.
12. Follow safety rules.
Follow safety rules and encourage others to do so. Stay safe and stay healthy.
With some insight and creativity you can wade through this crisis with all your relationships intact or even better.
Preetha Raj
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