Raising anti-racist children
Do you feel disturbed about what happened to George Floyd in the USA? Or what happened to a tribal youth , Madhu in Wayanad? Or upset with the communal riots? Are you outraged? Ashamed? Anguished? And feeling helpless?
Most of us do feel the same way.. But we are not entirely helpless. We can help to raise an anti-racist generation.
Racism is not an innate attribute. It is learned. It is learned from many sources, home , society, books, movies, songs, social media. The list is endless.
The aversion for dark skin has its roots real deep into history. Across time and cultures, dark is associated with negative and lighter colours for positive emotions. It is not different in literature or art. All these may lead to a perception of dark as bad. Those of us who actually think of ourselves as unbiased individuals, may actually have some learned prejudices within us, deep in our unconscious mind.
Under these circumstances, how can we raise an anti-racist generation?
First and foremost, start as early as possible.
You will have to start real early to instill values of humanity in your child.
You can use animal models at the early stages. For example you can talk to them as there are black dogs, spotted ones, brown ones but they are all dogs. Good or bad is not determined by the colour or physical appearance, but their behaviour and their ability to love. It is wrong to treat one bad if it is ugly or you don't like the colour.
Read them stories and relate that to real life. Persuade them to identify positive response and behaviour. Identify good books to give them a balanced positive outlook towards life.
Watch tv shows with them. There also you can interact with them. It is important to choose right kind of shows for them.
All these interactions should be as friendly chats. Not as advice or compulsion.
Often it is seen that parents applaud misbehavior and say their child is smart . But, remember street smartness and success are completely different things.
Point out misbehavior and talk to them how and why it was wrong to do. Always explain to them why you are against any of their bad behaviour towards someone. You can talk to them and say such a behaviour may hurt the other person and hurting others is bad.
Always try to practice what you preach. Because as the child grows, he is full of questions, and he will corner you for any contradictory behaviour from you. Also contradictions may cause confusion in the child's mind.
And as the child reaches adolescence they become more and more idealistic. A major conflict between parents and adolescents happen when they start questioning hypocrisy of their parents.
Let us start now. To make a generation of real human beings, humane in every sense.
Preetha Raj
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